Don't demand personal info immediately.
Certainly not if you have failed to offered any details yourself.
Go for a balance between talking about yourself and asking about
Don't open with your last failed
relationship. Sure, you have a dating history. But talking about
"game players, liars, and cheats" makes you sound a little
bitter. Don't sound like you are obsessed with past partners...
or that you think everyone will hurt you.
Don't open with sex. "Hi. You
look sexy." Unless the person's ad specifically says they only
want a casual sexual relationship, it can easily sound vulgar and
rude. Women, in particular, typically delete those messages. When
men get letters like that, they often expect a link to a porn site
to follow. Even on a website that focuses on "adult activities,"
you need to do more than describe your body or fantasies.
Don't write a novel. Sending out
your life story as a first contact is going to look odd. You need
to write enough to sound like you have a life, not a book you'd
like to publish.
Don't open with "I hate online
dating." It is amazing how many people open a note with a line
that condemns online dating sites and the people that use them.
You are talking to someone that uses a dating website! Do you really
want to immediately imply that they are desperate, dumb, or dangerous?
Don't ask for a phone number, address,
or last name before you have even gotten a reply from someone. You
may be mistaken for a serial killer or a telemarketer. Go slowly
in asking for that sort of information; you don't want to scare
off prospective dates.
© Dateable.com LLC 2002
About the author: Tracy Brant is
a freelance writer and an editor at Dateable.com. She can be contacted
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