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Finding Someone Special by Cheryl Lewis

Browsing through the personal classifieds can be quite frustrating if you really don't know what qualities or the type of personality it is that you are searching for in the person you are seeking, or in the relationship you are seeking.

Questions you need to ask yourself before and as you are reading through the personal sections again are: Why are you searching for someone, do you want a companion, a serious relationship or just to make friends with someone new with the hopes of dating. Who are you looking for, are you searching for someone tall, short, thin, stout, young, old, divorced, widowed, single, married, and the list goes on to include all personal choices and preferences in people.

Discussing this theory a little more in detail - If you have a problem dating someone with kids, you should skip over the classifieds that reveal those people who have kids or you will only be letting yourself down in the end when you are building a relationship. This theory pertains to all of the listings, for example, if you are searching for someone that is just for you, without ever sharing that person with another, search for someone who has never been married or who is not a widow (widower). Once you know whom you are searching for, you will be able to read the personal classifieds with more confidence and decision making abilities.

Read the classifieds completely, tracking the writing that interests you the most so that you can go back and compare, reread or contact that person. Reading through the entire personal section, or at very least the section that applies your target interest group, you will find a variety of people with vast differences in personalities just through the short descriptions available.

Now is the tough time to write your contact letter, made much simpler if you have already created your profile for replies to read about you. Starting your reply is easy with an opening such as, 'I have read your profile and found you are most intriguing (interesting, exciting, provocative)' or you could use something more elaborate such as 'Your profile interested me to the point where I had to contact you right away to find out what we have in common'. While there are many expressions and various phrases you can use when writing your opening letter, the contact letter is truly going to be a reflection of your personality, and what you are searching for in a relationship.

The first example of 'I have read your profile and found you are most intriguing', would reveal that you are interested. Are you searching for friendship in the classified section? Try using the first example building on that sentence to read along the lines of: 'I would like the opportunity to get to know you better and talk a while'. But if you are searching for a lover through the personals, the second sentence could read: 'I really would love to get to know you better, find out what type of person you are searching for and hopefully to create a match with you'. The point here is to keep your true feelings within the boundaries of words, not scaring off someone if you are just wanting to be friends, while on the other hand if you are searching for a lover don't hide behind words of a friendly chat.

Top ideas to use in your opening introduction letter are express your interest to your potential 'date' using your writing to express why you are contacting that person. Reveal to this person how you propose to meet their needs in their search for a friend, companion or lover using expressive words such as 'I intend to' or 'I would like to' or even 'I have been searching through the classifieds and found your profile appealing to me because'. Give just a few hints about your where you are located, without revealing to much about your without determining whether the two of you will continue a conversation. Use phrases like, 'I am from the east coast' or 'I live south of California' or other such general terms, revealing your location to a particular location through later conversations. Your initial contact with a proposed 'date' should be about the type of person you are searching for, why you have been using resources online to search for someone special, and what you are hoping to gain from a relationship from this person with personal details revealed through additional conversations as your 'relationship' trust grows.

Online personals have been created for the user to act anonymously while investigating the possibilities of friendship, love and for finding that someone special to spend your life with. Using your thoughts and feelings through this situation, creatively with expressive words without misleading readers will allow you to reach your destination, of finding that someone special, faster and easier that you would be able to in any other situation.

Cheryl Lewis, freelance writer, married and mother of three. Based in the Mountains of PA

Cheryl writes for DrDating - a web site for anyone looking for love online. We have hundreds of articles, E-Books and links to some great dating and love sites all over the world. DrDating also offers reviews of some of the most popular dating sites and books.
http://www.DrDating.com

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