Flirting is the way most people
determine whether or not a member of the opposite sex is interested
in them. Following is a quick outline on how you should go
about the complex, sometimes fun, sometimes not so fun, task
of flirting. It all beings with your approach.
One person approaches the other. They move into closer physical
proximity. This much is clear: NO approach equals NO possibility
of initiating contact. You must approach!
Example: A woman sits down next to a man in a coffee shop,
or a man stands near a woman in a dance club. This is the
first step. Once you approach, you begin looking for the signs.
The person who has been approached will always signal the
other's presence in some way
a sign. This signal is not
like a train whistle, however, more a subtle body language
which you can learn to recognize. For example, he or she simply
may look up, move over to make room, nod slightly, or signal
with a glancing eye contact.
A display of total obliviousness to the one who is approaching
generally indicates lack of interest altogether. Don't be
discouraged. But if the one you approached shows absolutely
no interest, then it's time to re-group and try again. But
let's say the approach works. You have your positive acknowledgement,
now what? Time to talk.
The Verbal Exchange
The two people may then engage in a mild verbal exchange about
impersonal, unimportant matters such as the weather or the
scene around them. The key word here is MILD.
This is the classic place for the clever "line,"
but cleverness is not required. At this point, a verbal exchange
is not for the purpose of sharing valuable insights about
life or determining philosophical compatibility. It is just
a vehicle to further the developing contact.
Examples: Verbal overtures might include anything from "please
pass the pickles" to "your looking great tonight",
to "have you seen the waitress?". Without some form
of verbal response, it is highly unlikely that the next step
will occur. Let's say all is going as planned. Time for body
Over a period of time, a couple that has begun to talk may
also begin to orient themselves physically to one another,
to turn toward one another until, if all is goes well, they
are fully facing one another. This is your goal.
This step can take minutes or hours . . . or weeks or months
. . . to achieve. Yet, without this physical reorientation
toward one another, not very much can ever happen, so give
up on people who turn their back toward you for long periods
of time! But if they don't
The woman or the man (most often the woman) touches the other
in a light, fleeting way. Examples: A couple might accidentally
brush their hands against one another while reaching for a
drink, or the woman might pat the man on the arm in the middle
of a shared joke. The exchange of very subtle, almost glancing
touches may continue for some while, and if all goes well,
can escalate into the casual affections shown by couples who
are dating. If you've reached this point, then flirting has
now become the beginning of a relationship. The Art of Flirting
should always end with the beginning of a relationship. Now
get out there and flirt.
The Art of Flirting is really the Art of making first contact.
You only have one shot at making a great first impression.
By following some of the guidelines we've established in this
article, you should now be equipped to locate, approach, and
ascertain whether or not your subtle flirting has opened the
doors to a new and exciting relationship.
My name is Joe Vetromile, and
I'm an author/screenwriter living in So. California. I've
written hundreds of articles on the subjects of flirting,
dating and breaking-up. Besides having first hand experience
with all three, my research on the art of dating confirms
to me that while the ritual of hooking up with a soul-mate
may be arduous at times, the end result of finding that perfect
someone to share the rest of your life with, is well worth
Joe Vetromile writes for DrDating
- a web site for anyone looking for love online. We have hundreds
of articles, E-Books and links to some great dating and love
sites all over the world. DrDating also offers reviews of
some of the most popular dating sites and books. http://www.DrDating.com
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